What Works / What Doesn’t Work in Relationships

EDITOR’S NOTE: Culled over the years, found within ancient hieroglyphics on wall drawings, and within the hall of records in countless national divorce courts, we share what doesn’t work and what does work within intimate relationships with women. Let us begin with what doesn’t work, as this may be easier to comprehend … and practice.


  • Share one of those PSA videos from the 1950s on how women should act around their men, ie: positive attitudes, hygiene, pipe and newspaper fetching, servitude, and the like.
  • Comprehend that the phrase “that’s fine” is actually “fine.”
  • Ask for a threesome. On the first date.
  • After marriage, ask for a threesome, without the handy “just kidding” as a backup.
  • Stand at the door while she is getting ready, looking at the time on your phone, declaring, “We really have to get going or we’re going to be late.”
  • Continually remind her about the times you were “right.”
  • Reveal to her the various unfortunate ways she is like her mother.
  • Attempt to cover for you not listening to her by feigning a minor stroke.
  • Gift ideas to include: vacuum, one of YOUR favorite power tools, or Endust.
  • A special anniversary celebration at Rubio’s followed by a trip to the shooting range.
  • Asking her why she can’t be more like Taylor Swift.


  • Not doing any of the above, very often.

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