“MDI is not about fixing men. It’s a tool for men to help change the world.”
Dave Smith, MDI member since 1994
In 2000, a small group of men created a men’s organization with the goal that it would be here for our grandsons. Since that day, MDI has been unconditionally committed to men winning in their lives by inspiring them to pursue a purpose bigger than themselves.
That’s us in a nutshell. Here’s some key things inside that nutshell:
While our code compels us to be humble, we will say this: while many men’s groups have come and gone, a big reason why we’ve stayed around and even grown is the strength of our organization.
Like the men in our teams, the teams themselves stay strong and on course because of the support, structure, and leadership of MDI.
To cause greatness by mentoring men to live with excellence and, as mature masculine leaders, create successful families, careers and communities.
A world where Honor, Selflessness, Commitment, Integrity, Training and Learning give men the wisdom and courage to serve all men, women, and children for the betterment of humanity.
Honor means having a sense of doing the right thing, even when it’s hard. Nobody else defines what the “right thing” is for you. You already know.
Why join MDI?
Diversity is so important, we’re calling it out.
To MDI, diversity isn’t a nice, progressive idea. It’s a selfishly essential one. We live and die by the life-changing wisdom we get from each other, which only comes from the hugely diverse viewpoints found in our communities of men. MDI welcomes all men without regard to race, age, ethnicity, sexual identity or orientation, religion, politics, national origin or disability.
Our members run the spectrum of ethnicity and political belief, are married, divorced, in long-term relationships or have never married, are straight and gay, professional and working class. Our youngest member is 18; our oldest is in his 80’s. Our only membership requirements are that you be a man of legal age, pay annual dues, and adhere to our code of honor.
Free & Three
From our president
A Note to Women
This site is addressed to men. But women are a huge part of many men’s lives, so I wanted to speak to you, the women out there.
When women learn that their man has joined a men’s team, they often have mixed feelings. They sometimes wonder why he’s able to open up to other men but not to her, or they may think it’s just a place to go and vent about her.
MDI is not a men’s locker room, we’re not a cult, and most of all, we’re not a place to bash you or women in general. It’s simply not permitted. What we are is a safe space for your man to imagine and work toward the best version of himself, with other men as his guide, support, and bullshit detector.
– Ian Kennard, President, MDI
“MDI is like a laboratory for life.”
Michael Fowlkes, MDI Member since 1993
Our Code of Honor
To be successful, a man must possess a strong and healthy ego. However, a man’s ego can consume him if he is not the Master of It. A man without a clear sense of his commitment will allow himself to be led by whatever happens to be at hand in the moment (usually his emotions or ego). Commitment before Ego demands two disciplines:
1. To practice and possess a firm understanding and adherence to one’s purpose and commitment; and
2. To hold an iron mastery over one’s ego.
In order for a man to have a true sense of himself and the world around him, he must Honor the Truth. Honoring the truth requires that a man possess the wisdom and courage necessary to:
- Discern what the truth is
- Face the truth about himself and/or others even when painful
- Understand the value of truth
- Understand the limitations and sometimes harmful effect of the truth
- Understand that speaking the truth must be tempered and governed by one’s purpose and commitment
- Understand that Honor the Truth does not mean “Tell the Truth”
The ability to keep confidences or secrets is a key component of trusting relationships. In order to Respect Confidentiality, one must:
- Understand the importance of confidentiality and its effect on trust
- Understand what is and what is not confidential and under what circumstances
- Understand that blind confidentiality robs a man of much of the richness to be found in his many relationships and is really not respect at all
Being a Three-Dimensional Man requires:
- An understanding of what the three dimensions embody (Ghandi: “I Give a Fuck”; Clint: “I Don’t Give a Fuck”; and Curly: “I Don’t Take Myself Too Seriously”)
- The ability to access these three dimensions when necessary
- An understanding that being a 3-D man does not mean that one is equally comfortable with each dimension, only that he has ready access to the dimension
In order to live this element of the Code, one must:
- Understand what being faithful to the men means
- We remain faithful to the men by being true to our principles and values
- We never choose personal loyalty over loyalty to our principles and values
In order to live this element of the Code, one must:
- Understand the value of having a code of honor in a man’s life
- Keep the Code and its value alive by living it, teaching it, calling out men who have lost touch with the Code
- Call out men who add or take away from the code
In order to live one’s life fighting only honorable battles, one must:
- Understand what’s there that’s is worth fighting for
- Understand what is not worth fighting for
- Have enough mastery over one’s ego to never fight battles in defense of one’s ego
To earn and honor rank, one must understand that:
- Rank does not necessarily carry a “title”
- Rank carries both privilege and responsibility
- Privilege and responsibility must be earned, otherwise it is not respected
- Earned privilege and responsibility must be respected or it has no value
- The most important rank that a man will ever honor is whatever rank he currently holds. This is the essence of humility
In order to Embrace All Men, one must:
- Understand that the parts of other men that are difficult to accept are often the parts of ourselves that we deny
- Understand that we ourselves are capable of any crime if we lose sight of our purpose and commitment
- Understand that other men, regardless of their actions or crimes are simply men who have lost sight of their true purpose
- Look unflinchingly at one’s own darkness
To Be an Example to Children, one must understand that:
- An honorable man takes responsibility for the lives and future of the children in his life
- The example that he sets teaches children lessons that will either serve them or weaken them
- To live this element intentionally requires that a man live a disciplined and purposeful life
- Having children in one’s life and being committed to be an example to them provides an invaluable benefit to a man by forcing him to be a better man than he would otherwise be
- Being an example to children does not mean the man should pretend to be something he is not just because he’s around children (this is not being an example, it’s bullshitting)
- Being an example to children does not mean being a “good” example because “good” is just someone else’s subjective judgement
- Being an example to children is about taking responsibility for the example one sets and having that example be an expression of the man at his best