Advice, Knowledge And Insight For The Modern Man

Gary Binglesprum
BEAT WRITER

Good news is on the horizon for all men wanting to dodge responsibility and the tasky, time-consuming obligation of performing an action to make up for their oversight, blunders and fuckups.

Starting immediately, MDI will do away with the archaic act of “cleanups” or “consequences” – ways to come back into honor with their word, their commitments and agreements – and implement the use of the familiar exclamation: “Woops!”

“This is an exciting development in the evolution of men on men’s teams,” said an unnamed source whose identity is undisclosed in order to avoid accountability.

Proponents reported that physical acts of giving back to those impacted could result in feelings of resentment and guilt … especially if the man really messed up. Also of value, this new idea is simple and fast, creating no delays with pushups and the like.

No longer having to come up with symbolic gestures to make amends and restore their own sense of honor, the new plan is to have such protocols:

  1. Late to a meeting or event – “Woops.”
  2. A broken word, promise, standard or commitment – “Woopsie.”
  3. Sleeping with another man’s wife or girlfriend – “Woopsiedoodle.”

This new technique, besides eliminating the scary confronting accountability, will go further in minimizing wasted time also seen with the “apology,” which never did really work, did it?

OH, SHIT!

Though not confirmed as of press time, this new protocol may be augmented with the welcomed advent of what is known as the “excuse,” wherein a man may include a stated reason why he has broken his word, claiming it was outside of his seeming control or power.

Said one dude, “Excuses are great. I feel better about myself. It takes me off the hook. I learn nothing, and it’s pretty much a green light to continue behavior that is destructive to myself and my relationships.”

Whether or not the excuse makes its way into MDI’s way of being, the new proposed technology promises to save men time, effort, energy … growth, depth, respect, honor, good relations … success.

Oh … woops.