Insight For The Modern Man

Recently out of jail, but with a parole he generally holds as “probably too hard to maintain,” Joe Shlupp out of the newly formed Las Vegas territory of MDI has been chosen as our “Failure Story” of the month!

A self-proclaimed “committed” team-player, Shlupp has discovered every excuse to miss his team meetings – traffic, sickness, pet care, a chronic “busy-ness,” car issues, a previous commitment to “Survivor” reruns, and basically at times “not feeling like it.” Said Shlupp, “The excuses work since some men want to use them in the future. Though I’m running out of reasons, I think I can recycle a few at some point since the men may not notice.” 

Coming in close second as this month’s “failure story” is Shlupp’s team, which has dedicated itself to spending three hours each team meeting in “fixing” him … even when he’s not there. 

Shlupp has yet to step up to lead, citing his lack of a long-distance carrier on his cell phone. He has yet to volunteer time in community service events, food banks, halfway house celebrations, and holiday fundraisers. “I would have stepped up to help with repairs after Hurricane Sandy but that happened really far from here,” he said. 

One bright spot was his desire to lose weight and run in his very first marathon. Because Las Vegas can get pretty hot, he downgraded the commitment to a ½ marathon, then a 10k, then a 5k, before agreeing to work the water table at mile two. All was going smoothly until he overslept. “There is always next year,” he promised. 

To show his true dedication to MDI and its higher mission and core values, Shlupp has committed to paying dues … but only following three conditions: he is cleared by his parole officer, he can raise the funds through selling stuff he stole from his mother’s house, and he can figure out his password for the MDI Membership Site. 

Congratulations Joe Shlupp! You suck!