The Second Coming of Curly Expected By the Faithful and Fun-loving

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Hoards of super serious people, downtrodden men and those trembling folks hunkered down in fear of the end of the world, are turning towards a deep-seated belief in the return of Curly Howard of The Three Stooges to save the day.

Curly and his other “brothers” (Moe, Shemp, Joe, Curly-Joe and Larry Fine) were part of a long-standing comedy troupe that performed goofball physical comedy during the time of the Great Depression, when people of our nation truly needed it. The Three Stooges’ gags would often mock the wealthy aristocrats, as pratfalls and pies-in-the-face befell the likes of men in tuxedos and women in beautiful gowns and pearls.  (Not to mention the ole “I can’t see; I can’t see.” “What happened?” “I got my eyes closed” bit.)

Similar to those depressing days when it appeared the top echelon was getting away with its highfalutin ways, our time in the 21st Century finds a disgruntled populace with comparable desires: we need a break from the stress, scarcity, wealth gaps and corruption … and someone’s gotta lead us there!

The fans of The Three Stooges loved the zany, madcap time had by these ridiculous men who lived in their own inane world of fun.

Sadly and tragically, Jerome Lester Horwitz or “Curly” died after experiencing a number of strokes in 1952 at the age of 48. He promised his legacy would carry on in the minds of many MDI men who truly “owned their jerkhood.” And according to absolutely zero sources, his dying words were, “I promise to return someday!” Though this fact is not substantiated in any way, shape or form (not that any facts are nowadays), this “return” could have prophetically referenced the concept of syndicated reruns in the yet developed likes of UHF and Nickelodeon.

Believing strongly in this resurrection, Curly-ites – as they are called – are waiting patiently for the return of such a madcap presence to help lighten the present-day heavy load.

Reached for comment through a medium, Curly said, “Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.”

Through the same medium, Moe Howard, somehow still sporting that Beatle haircut, commented on the whole phenomenon with: “Why I outtta…”

Excitingly heeding these mystical words as gospel, the Curly-ites have banded together – mainly online as that’s the only way to band together these days. To prepare themselves for this return of Curly, these fanatics have chosen to:

  • Create a big enough space to do the Curly Shuffle and to do that “spinning-on-the ground-on-your-side” thing.
  • Secure a truckload of lemon meringue pies.
  • Secure a similar amount of washcloths.
  • Practice placing their flat and sturdy hand right up against their nose, to block any fingers coming towards their eyes.
  • Not take anything too seriously.

To address such fanaticism, a member of the Marx Brothers (also channeled), attempted to put it all into perspective. “This ‘second coming of Curly’ is simply the arising of the fun and humor within all men’s funny bone. I mean come on! How could this be possible?” said Harpo.

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