From the Western Region’s Legacy Discovery at Little Basin State Park, April 13-15, 2018
Men of MDI:
Of course, I had no idea there even was an event called Legacy Discovery – until I received the gift of making the choice. I trusted my sponsor and I chose. Today, when he asked me what I thought of my experience with the LD felt like telling him: “If I knew what the LD was about I probably wouldn’t have gone but I’m glad I did.”
This is why:
Friday night, I showed up not knowing what to expect. I soon saw I was going to be pushed way-past my comfort zone. My character was faced with two options; ether shut down and roll with the punches, till it’s time to go, or embrace the experience and get everything I could from it. I had worked hard to get there. Many men had sacrificed so much for me to be there as well. To not at least try to embrace the experience would be a disservice to the men and myself. There was no turning back!
At my LD I was, finally, able to confront demons I had hidden away for many years. I was enabled to see the damage those demons had done to me (and those around me) throughout my life. I was also empowered to confront the uncomfortable truths about myself and what kind of man was behind the mask. I didn’t like that man at all. He was bitter, angry, vile and many other things I can’t even think of right now. Apparently, I had a good mask. I also learned that I was not alone; most of the men around me had the same problems. That fact gave me the power to dig deep and bare it all–no matter how shameful it may be. What I did not know at the time was; I had given my L.D. brothers the strength to confront their own hidden demons; the ones they did not want to talk about.
Confronting these truths left me emotionally and physically exhausted at the end of Saturday. For the first time that I can remember, my anger and bitterness had vanished! I was not to play the victim in denial any longer. The warrior had carried me through that day, especially the parts of the journey I had been fearing the most.
I remember waking up Sunday morning feeling joyful and happy, but somewhat lost. I had lost a lot of my baggage and destroyed the mask leaving a sort of vacuum. Now I had nothing to take its place!
As we went through the morning exercises, I realized who I was meant to be. I was able to listen to what I was speaking without any anterior ego going through my mind. It had become apparent that kindness and generosity is what I am meant to do. I have always been happiest when helping others.
I left a lot of my shit flung at those four walls. I am so glad I made the right decision. The changes in my life have been huge. What I got from the LD was 100% more than what I paid for. I have to say the ability to leave all my baggage behind and finding my purpose was priceless. I am sure that all the men that had gone through the LD with me can attest to this.
There is so much I could write about the LD experience and how it’s affected my personal life today, but this was originally supposed to be two or three paragraphs and I have gone way past that. So, I will cut this short. Thank you to my sponsor for convincing me to go. Thank you to the brilliance of the training team. And thank you to the dozens of men on production who made the event so vibrant for me. It is the greatest gift anyone has given me.
Francisco “Cisco” Fernandes
Francisco Fernandes is on team “Stop The Bus … and let my brother, Jack, off” in the Western Region. He is married with children. An accomplished wall artist, he also designs and engineers cold storage facilities for the Cold Storage Group of Companies of Modesto and Union City, CA.