Insight For The Modern Man

Howard Spierer

The Importance of creating an environment for your men can speak their truth to power.

This lesson in leadership comes from a recent personal experience. In mid-June I was removed from my position within MDI, I believe not because of anything I did with respect to my job but because of something I said in the supposedly safe and confidential space of a leadership call. What I said and why I said it is irrelevant to the lesson I’m about to address. What I’m concerned about and what I want to communicate to you is the importance of creating an environment where the men you are charged with leading feel free to speak their truth.

As always these are my opinions, my thoughts, and my beliefs. I own them. They are not necessarily shared by MDI as an organization or its leadership nor the editors of Legacy Magazine.

As I delve into the deeper lessons in leadership, there are several things I hold to be true:

  • There may be multiple truths to any one circumstance.
  • Tapping into emotion is the quickest way to reveal someone’s underlying beliefs.
  • What someone says is much less important than what someone does. This is especially true if what they said was during a heightened emotional state.
  • There is nothing that can’t be resolved through communication.
  • Being the leader is more about listening than acting.

An effective and successful leader listens to the words, digs behind the emotion and uses that to evaluate their own position. And after this, only then should they act.

I have always tried to adhere to a leadership model that strives to work with those that disagreed with me rather than isolate and marginalize them. When looking to make a decision I would continue to seek input until I found someone who disagreed with me. Then I would listen to the basis of the disagreement and factor it into the context I needed to present to enroll others into my vision.

I like to encourage my men and urge and often incite them to speak their truth to me, especially if they think it’s going to hurt my feelings. I have found it incredibly dangerous to allow men to stifle their emotion and carry a list of grievances against me. If there is a thunderstorm coming, I have always wanted to see it well in advance. I am quicker to trust a man who is willing to voice his disagreement with me than someone who feels compelled to nod their head in tacit agreement.

One of the biggest mistakes I believe any leader can make is to take someone out of a job after they voiced a contrary opinion. That does not mean eventually they cannot fire or seek that person’s resignation. I just believe it is dangerous to do it immediately after someone has spoken their truth because the signal it sends to everyone else is “be careful what you say.” For someone charged with leading anything, surrounding yourself with others who are afraid to question you is a sure path to ultimate failure.

Too often leaders confronted by disagreement try to convince the other side they are right rather than taking a step back and hearing what the other person is saying. They wish not to see where there might be some kernel of truth. The code of honor of MDI has a tenet about honoring the truth. This is key, as it directs us to individual truth which can lead ultimately to a collective truth.

A successful organization does not commit to one “right way” of doing things but rather creates a forum for others to express their own truth, embracing diverse opinions.