Desperate International Global Leaders Adopt MDI Practices to Save Humanity

In a surprise move by local, state and federal leadership, government administrations are turning to a men’s organization to solve the present global issues.

Mentor Discover Inspire (or “MDI” for the lazy talker) is an international men’s organization that holds various key elements, core values and leadership structures that support success on many levels, say select government officials.

“Times are obviously tough,” said US Congressman Cal Washington III. “And we must look anywhere we can for what can work in leading, managing and controlling the populace we serve. Why not a bunch of vagabond oddballs who claim to be free as only men can be?”

In studying MDI, a congressional subcommittee conducting “Project – Boy Do We Need Help” is reviewing four Major Areas of Concern:

  1. Justice Systems
  2. Leadership Structures
  3. Collective Unity
  4. Health Issues

Justice Systems

In reviewing the MDI practice of “cleanups” and “consequences,” the subcommittee realized that an honor system could be devised wherein the person who broke a law or standard could work alongside the person impacted by that breach. This would bring balance and honor back to the relationship and the situation.

With a Code of Honor and a set of agree-upon standards as a foundation, consequences could be devised, not by a judge figuring out who is telling the least amount of bullshit, but rather the two impacted parties, with the one who broke the standard inquiring, “What do you need?” or “What can I do for you?” The person gifted with such a question would consider some form of action that not only balances out the infraction but also lifts the other person out of any sense of guilt or regret.

When the subcommittee realized that this scenario would take elements of “care” and “trust” between the two parties, one member was overheard sighing. “Oh, wow. This is going to be a stretch.”

Leadership Structure

The subcommittee observed that the leadership structure within MDI included the empowerment of “the men” over the singular power or control of a team leader. The subcommittee noted that the team members could swiftly remove a team leader once that leader did not perform in a way best suited for the rest of the men.

This strategy showcases a scenario wherein the team holds the team leader accountable rather than the leader overpowering the rest of the collective. Said Washington, “Why didn’t we ever think of that? This just may work … as long as those of us in power still get special treatment and can vote in our own raises.”

Unified Front

After a review of the MDI Core Values as well as the modes of operation of the men working at a “team level,” the subcommittee recognized a unified front that was not disrupted by the notions of religion, race or even political stands.

Even if the charged topics arose and created some discord, the team members would say something like “fuck off” and then go back to caring about each other’s lives. Either that or they would play a silly game, or continue the screaming until they reached the end of it and got bored. Washington was impressed but a bit baffled at these unique processes. “It’s very odd behavior, of which we are not accustomed. This common bond concept could catch on … well, as long as our side wins.”

Going way beyond the “us vs. them” narrative often highlighted in media reports, many MDI men appear to simply not focus on what could divide them, but rather consider what unites them – successful families, careers, and communities, no matter how boring that sounds to network televised news.

The only issue that could be observed as separating these MDI men with the rest of society would be the trend to meet apart from the female gender. But, according to MDI member Johnny Onthe Spot, this exclusion theory falls apart when outsiders realize one main reason the men work so hard is for the good of families and relationships.

Spot elaborated: “Sure I want to get away from my wife once in awhile. What better way to reunite then to separate for some time? Plus, if I don’t get some space, I sure start being a real asshole.”

Health Issues

Though subcommittee representatives’ investigations discovered that MDI is not equipped to comment around health diagnoses or medical treatments, they found the whole “hands off” and “live and let live” principles intriguing. Nothing in the MDI bylaws or infrastructure mentions the response to pandemics, flu’s, flu-like symptoms or viruses, though it’s an educated guess that a certain percentage of the MDI membership probably has herpes.

Washington was puzzled how men being so free could take care of their own health, being how dirty they can get. “Men are on their own in this organization, and some even speak of their health being their own responsibility,” Washington said. “Best they got: ‘sign the waiver.'”

Even with such freedom and autonomy given to the men in their circles, such mature masculine responsibility would have to be tested out by government officials. “Yeah, we’ll have to see how long we can let people make their own choices.”


After the research was completed, the congressional subcommittee recognized that implementing these four ways of being, along with other MDI Core Values and qualities, would indeed serve a community, a nation and even the globe – in bringing balance, freedom and peace to all of the world.

Said Washington, “That’s fine … as long as this can get me re-elected.”

4 thoughts on “Desperate International Global Leaders Adopt MDI Practices to Save Humanity”

  1. Good work! I’ll start by getting a coalition of neighbors together for a team meeting and pick a leader. Making sure it’s the best person for the job that’s not me.

    1. If you don’t want the leadership job, that’s normally a good sign you’re the right man.
      That man who wants the job really bad is routinely a red flag. And no one knows why. :)

  2. Good addition .. hope you did not have men quit instantly at the women joining move … but a,women’s perspective or 2 about the values and mission might be an ok o nice a year focused discussion.

    1. A couple men considered quitting, up until someone pointed out it was an April Fools Joke. Then they usually say “oh, got me.” We always tell them by the end of the story, and we make it as ABSURD as possible for the sake of humor and clarity. But sometimes men jump to final conclusions.

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