James Anthony Ellis
Legacy Magazine Editor
Whenever I look within and seek to discover the source of my fear, it doesn’t take long for me to realize the core thought residing there.
I am alone.
When I am alone, I am in danger.
When I am alone, I have no support in my endeavors.
When I am alone, it’s just me alone with my ego … not the best company.
When I am alone, the world seems scarier.
When I am alone, I have no one to reach out to for support or help.
And worst of all, when I am alone … I am alone.
There was an old saying that came out of rugged and long-hour production work on the Men’s Weekends: “If you are tired, you are doing it alone.” The idea here was we could actually get a boost of energy through the power of relationships. But if we were on our own, tiredness could overtake us.
And so it is in this mindset that I do some more digging into this silly ole subconscious mind of mine to reveal a few other nuggets of gold. Or to reveal a few belief systems that need some trashing.
Since belief systems are only as powerful as our beliefs in them, let’s see what we find when considering the idea of asking for help.
So the question: what comes to mind when I need help…
- What’s the use?
- This probably won’t work out anyway since the person won’t be available.
- I will be seen as weak.
- I should be able to figure this out on my own.
- There wasn’t anyone there when I needed help before.
- I’ll be let down.
- I’m not worthy of support.
- I’ll be a burden.
- I’m on my own.
- I am alone.
There aren’t too many beliefs in there that really need to be retained. Doesn’t sound like a fun or fruitful existence cohabitating with THOSE thoughts.
What would it be like if instead, the belief systems rolled this way:
- I am worthy of support.
- I am empowered by reaching out to another in trust.
- Asking for help allows another person a chance to enjoy the act of giving.
- My life is rich in relationships wherein we all can be there for each other, as the needs arise.
- What a blast it is knowing we can be in each other’s lives to watch each other’s back.
- We weren’t born into families, communities, tribes, nations and teams for nothing. We are born to give and receive in a divine play of mutual support.
- I am not alone.
What a team that would be. What a family that would be. What a life that would be.
What a world that would be.
James Anthony Ellis is an award-winning playwright, journalist and filmmaker, who is the author of eight books, including the men-focused “The Honor Book” available HERE.
2 thoughts on “What Comes To Mind When I Need Help”
Great thought process. All true in my experience.
All true for me too! Even after 20 years of hearing the mantra “ask for help,” it still brings up the resistance.