There are a number of things to look at when upping your masculine edge. Here are nine areas to look at and see where you are. Excerpted and based on an article by Jordan Gray written in April 2017
To some extent we all allow external sources (family, events, people, etc.) to tap into our attention and energy. At times we are so busy running to whatever is next that we feel exhausted and we struggle with just being present to the moment. On the strategic/life level… get used to saying ‘No’ to things, events, and people that you don’t want to invest your energy in. On the behavioral level, make solid eye contact with people as you listen to them. Listen carefully. Use your eyes to observe and react, not to intimidate or judge. Focus on this moment only.
Figure out what it is you burn for, and then plan for it and live for it. Allow yourself to ramp this up! Take time to discover your passions. Look at your wish list. Make yourself worth it.
The essence of masculine energy is a sense of direction. Go after what you want. Set goals, honor them, and let nothing stand in the way. We practice this weekly. But what about the commitments to yourself, to your needs, desires and goals.
4. Speak your truth:
Practice with your men fully disclosing your truth. Allow it to feel awkward or incomplete. In speaking your truth, you come into greater alignment with your desires, your goals, and your mission in life. Make a habit of speaking your truth.
5. Stop putting others’ needs ahead of your own:
You are the ultimate authority in your life. There is nothing wrong with being generous or helpful, but it is healthy to put your own needs first. Ensure that your own cup is full, so that you give to others from an authentic place of overflow and abundance.
6. Allow yourself to be comfortable with socially tense situations:
Lean into your fears. Have challenging conversations. For every unit of courage that you deploy in your life, you will be rewarded with an equal or greater number of units of authentically earned confidence.
7. Be in touch with your anger and other emotions:
It is essential that you connect to your heart, gut, and your emotional body. Allow your anger to drive you but not control you. Let it be a tool.
8. Meet with your men:
Spend dedicated time with just men. Make this a regular practice. Ideally at least once per week.
Last and maybe the most important:
9. Live your life in relationship to your death:
“Remember that you are going to die.” Let that motivate you rather than stop you.
Death gives life meaning. We all know this on an intuitive level.
Everything that you create for the world is a sandcastle in front of a wave. This can either feel disheartening, or freeing.
Let your impending death guide the way you live.
Ask yourself, “What would I spend my time doing if I knew that I was going to die in a year?” And then try to live that way. Pay attention to the discrepancies of how you would live versus how you are living, and then put in the work of bridging that gap.
Developing and strengthening our masculine edge requires Presence, Passion, Direction, Speaking the Truth, Putting your needs first, Allowing yourself to be comfortable with socially tense situations, Be in touch with your anger and other emotions, Meet with your men, and Live your life in relationship to your death.