Truth as a Tool for Self-Compassion

Jeff Kidman

Legacy Discovery Shaman Jeff Kidman brings to you exercises you can undertake anywhere, at a time that works for you. For the man on a men’s team, in a men’s group or out there on his own. The intention of these exercises is to bring you into greater connection to something bigger, so that you can broaden your context, reach your highest potential and ultimately be more successful in the endeavors that matter to you and those you influence.


I heard this phrase this morning and it struck me. It had me thinking that the men’s circles I frequent practice a sort of “truth as self-compassion.” When we “check in” with each other we are asking what our current truth is. I am not interested in the weather or the answer you give your boss each morning at work, but really, truly: “How the hell are you?”

For me, the underlying function of this is to get at the feeling or emotion that is present. So often we are keeping an emotion at bay, or stuffing it down so we can get through the day. We are not present to what we are actually feeling. This kind of mask has its purpose. It often protects me when I’m at work or with people that won’t understand or maybe benefit from knowing my true emotions.

Sometimes there is a cost to this. Sometimes the cost is that I can’t even identify the emotion that I’m having right now since I’m in the habit of not letting myself know. This is where we get to the compassion. It serves us to speak the truth about what our own true emotions are.

Many times I have experienced (and heard the same from other men) that just the process of checking in with my own truth has cleared my head, made me feel better and armored me for whatever life throws at me next.

The tool to connect you to your greater energy is to tell your truth.

We can do this with others we can trust, such as a men’s circle.

We can do this each and every day.

If you are alone, look in the mirror and speak out loud.

Somehow there is more power in spoken words than even thinking really loudly.

  • I feel sad for way yesterday went with my wife.
  • I feel happy after the exercise I did this morning.
  • I feel scared about my job interview.

Do this in the car on the way to work, or as you walk into the building. Allow yourself to have many emotions at once, we often do.

Speak your truth out loud, have compassion for yourself and invite yourself into the freedom of letting the true emotions flow and be recognized.

So, once again I quote the Rob Wergin recording I was listening to this morning … Truth is Self-Compassion.

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