Jack Brown MDI Contributor
This is a story of a “gotcha,” of a practical joke. Think of it as a game of hot potato, testing men’s ability to pass it on quickly … or not. But instead of a potato, it was a large dildo.
Many years ago some men went fishing off the east coast of Florida. This event was so named the Young Men’s Fishing and Poker Playing Society’s semi-annual extravaganza. It had been going on for several years. And every trip, as we all might expect, was rife with pranks, tricks and chicanery. The fishing was good, the liquor plentiful and poker ran late into every night. My father was part of this group and so were two of my business partners.
On the morning of check out, two of the characters, my business partner Greg and my father Joe Brown, found a pair of women’s brief panties and a rubber dildo in the back of a drawer in the “No-Tell Motel” in which they were staying. As they examined their find and laughed, the same thought struck both of them, “How can we use this to ruin a friends life?” And with that stroke of genius, a plan began to hatch.
The “P and D” items were hidden in a paper sack and carried down stairs to the cab. The intended victim was to be one Truette Stubbs, another business partner of mine who many old timers in MDI know as one of our founders and early leaders. At the time, Truette was living here in Atlanta with Judith, an attractive artist, but also a bizarre and crazy woman. Judith was known to have a temper, and Greg and Joe could hardly wait to light her fuse! The next step was to place the items in the bottom of Truette’s dirty clothes bag believing that he would drop the bag by the washing machine at home and that Judith would dump the contents to wash them and then BOOM, annihilation!
I mean, what are friends and for?
And so with the stage set Joe and Greg waited. And they waited. And waited. Days went by, then weeks. Nothing.
Oh well! Truette must have found the items, tossed them and Judith was never the wiser. And, of course, he would never mention it to either Greg or Joe!
But the story doesn’t end here.
Fast forward six months. Judith is gone. Truette is moving and in so doing he is cleaning out his closet. He is getting rid of clothes he no longer wears and asks me if I would like a nice sport coat that he hadn’t worn in years. I declined, not my size or style, but I said I thought it looked like something my brother-in-law would like. So I took it and a few days later gave it to Jimmy. Now, Jimmy was a shy, somewhat skittish man. He was a middle manager, good with numbers but introverted and not at all outgoing. The coat fit him to a tee and he liked it.
Soon after he received his new coat, he and his wife, my wife’s sister, attended a holiday dinner party at the home of his boss. A grand event that in its self made him nervous. Not his cup of tea but he had to attend. The evening went well, and as soon as he could, he thanked his boss, and then he and his wife were escorted by the boss and boss’s wife to the front door.
There, standing in the foyer, was when the prank finally hatched!
Pleasantries were being exchanged when Jimmy happened to reach into his pocket. Something was in it! A new coat. No idea, and without another thought, he pulled it out and there it was: the dildo wrapped in panties! Jimmy froze, his wife froze, the boss and his wife froze! Then all eyes grew large as Jimmy stood there holding the new surprise in front of him!
What was happening? What was this? What? Why?
In that moment, Jimmy panicked. Without a word, he turned, opened the door and stepped through, shutting the door behind him. There was a moment of silence, and then his boss said, “Jimmy, you are in the coat closet.” Another moment passed and Jimmy opened the door and stepped back out. Still holding the items, all in one breath he stammered, “I don’t know where these came from. My brother-in-law gave me this coat. Why would he do this to me, I don’t know…” Another moment then his boss burst out laughing and so did his boss’s wife. My sister-in-law did not laugh nor did Jimmy who simply put the dildo back in his pocket and went home.
Jimmy survived but returned the dildo (sans panties) to me. He didn’t speak to me for a long time. My wife finally convinced her sister that no one had set out to play this prank on Jimmy.
Having no idea where this originated, I investigated until I found the source. Joe and Greg were sorry it landed on Jimmy but were probably glad that it landed on someone.
I kept the “toy” for many years and used it to tell and re-tell this story! Both my father, Joe, and my brother-in-law Jimmy, have passed but are forever connected by “a prank gone right.”
I see my other business partner Greg, now 83, several times a week.
What are friends for if not to tease, prank and find the reason to laugh?