Insight For The Modern Man

Wes Nichols
MDI Contributor

It was 2008.

I was broke. My girlfriend, with whom I had a 1-year old daughter, left me and started dating a guy 20 years older than I. I was struggling with the court system of family law and with getting the chance to see my daughter.

Wes Nichols and all the gifts in his life.

All my life I wanted to give my kids what my parent gave me: a sense of that mom and dad who would always be together. Having that growing up, I think, helped build up my confidence.

But as years went by, things didn’t go as planned.

One particular dark period, my dad was dying of cancer, and I wanted to take my then 2-year-old daughter back to Indiana to see him. I had court orders that allowed me to take her with me, but enforcing these orders was difficult. At one intense point, I had to make a choice: either have my ex arrested or simply get on a plane to see my dying father. I chose…

Another low period came when we went to court mediation and my ex got so mad she got herself kicked out. I realized then that I was dealing with an unstable person and had no say on the matter. It was like I was floating in outer space and had to parent and raise a child with someone who will not listen and do only what she wants.

Life was harsh.

What helped me was taking some major steps in order to change the direction of my life.

I chose to start my own business with the knowing it was OK to have little to no money in the bank. I just kept telling myself that it was temporary and I would find a way. And I did find a way.

Finding a way came byway of some main beliefs, attitudes and strategies. These included:

  • I constantly ask for advice and help.
  • I don’t go it alone.
  • I hire people to share the load of my work. It’s important to multiply yourself. I see business owner all the time refuse the hire or bring on help. They can not grow and can not expand. They say things like “I do not want to manage people” or “I do not trust people to do it the same as me.” That is bullshit and just getting in your way of your greatness.
  • I always bet on myself. For some reason, either confidence of cockiness, I feel that I will always, in some way, come out the other end successful or at least OK. I have a belief in myself on what I am worth and how much I want to make. Many men have such an attitude in the game of coming out of the bar with a woman. It all depends on what you know yourself to be. It’s a belief that no matter what comes your way – COVID or shut down or death or divorce – you will always find a way.

So with such a mind-set, where is my life now?

I am growing.

I am expanding payroll, taking vacations and trying to balance my 8-times a week workouts. I spend valuable time with my second wife and the two kids. I look down at my bank account, saying “not enough,” but telling myself I have been in worse places and will find a way out of my long “to do” list. 

I recently hired an Executive Admin whose sole job is to make sure the small details do not slip through the cracks. I am so excited about this. Someone to take so much off my plate. It is a freedom like nothing else. I currently have two great interns and focus on mentoring them and exposing them to as many great people as I can. I wish to help them with their career paths.

It’s a giving back for all that I have been given … and all that I have been through … shifting a mindset … and shifting from a broken and lost man to a successful businessman just wanting to serve customers and those close to me in my life.