Insight For The Modern Man

As always, it’s good to hear from the collective men on the topic at hand. On any topic, it’s good to go to the collective wisdom and experience of the men and see what is to be shared and revealed. This month we hear from the men posting on social media, in answer to this question: “What is your favorite story about your mother?”

Joe Copp

On her bed in the hospital, just before dying Mom was asked if she wanted any last wishes taken care of. Her answer: “A new president.” Bush was in his second campaign and she was a staunch Republican.

Jeff Kidman

There was the time my Mom called me about six months after I had moved out of the house. I was 24 I think. She said there’s a package here with your name on it, and no other information. It’s about the size of a video tape. I said go ahead and open it. In the previous year I had been submitting my student films to film festivals and had gotten a small company to distribute it, so I thought it might have something to do with that business. When she opened it up, there was silence, and then she quickly said goodbye and hung up. 

It took a while, but I finally got her to tell me what happened and she was very embarrassed. When I was living at home I was getting catalogs in my name. One of them was an Adam & Eve or some similar adult film catalog. She had simply ordered something from the catalog, and used the information on it, so it came addressed to me in a plain paper package but was a porn movie that she had ordered. I did not ask whether she was going to watch it alone or with my Dad. I still don’t want to know…

John Kunkle

My mother used to put peanuts out on the fence rail for the squirrels. One time I went over to her house, she had the blinds drawn in the living room which was facing the back fence where she put the peanuts. She was sitting in the living room as was I. We talked for a while, then I started to walk toward the kitchen, which was adjacent to the dining room. My mother whispered to me as I got up to head in that direction: “Don’t go over there.” I stopped for a moment and then I asked her, “Mom, are you hiding from the squirrels?” She just giggled. She knew I was right.

Tom McCarter

Right off the top of my head, I remember the time my mother unexpectedly came to visit me in college. She stayed with me in my one room cabin. Coincidentally, a large party had been arranged that I had planned to go to. I told her I would be back but she said she wanted to go and meet my friends. My mother was from another era, and she disapproved of open displays of affection in public.

I told her she was liable to see a lot of activities she didn’t like but she insisted. She also liked to imbibe alcohol. She bought herself a pint of vodka and a quart of orange juice and we went. My mother sat in the kitchen fixing screwdrivers for herself.

The keg was in there, as well. In the living room, drugs of various types were being shared, along with several open displays of affection. People would go in to get a refill from the keg, and when they came back they would ask who the old lady was in the kitchen. When informed that it was my mother, they would go back to the kitchen and have a conversation with her. She told me the next day that she had a wonderful time!

Jack Brown

I was just thinking of my favorite Mom quotes:

“Wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one fills up the fastest!” “Your room’s not going to clean itself.” “No you won’t and that’s final!” And as I recall, there were only three things that could happen to a boy pushing the limits; you could break your neck; catch pneumonia; or put your eye out! Lol!

Andy Resnik

When I was a kid, my mom used to take me, Brian, Barbie and my brother Dave to the drive-in theater. She had a a station wagon with a luggage rack on top. We’d get up there with a blanket and have so much fun watching the movies outside. I remember how neat it was to be above all the cars and to watch everything going on in the parking lot, from a view we didn’t normally get.

Jeff Kidman Part II

Here’s another one. While in college my parents came to visit, and we had dinner with two friends and their parents. So there were about nine of us at dinner. My friend Fred’s mother and my mother were bonding. They were both nurses. They both quit smoking when they were pregnant with us. They talked about how hard it was to quit smoking for awhile. My mother talked about how she would sneak a cigarette sometimes while ironing, and set it on end to make it burn slower, and last longer. Then she said loud enough for the whole table to hear: “You’d think it was Goddamned joint.” Everyone stopped talking. No one knew what to say. We immediately all changed the subject and moved on. Later I found out that Fred’s mother might not even have known what a joint was.