Eric Louie MDI Contributor
The Purpose of the Sterling Men’s Weekend: “To engage in the process of locating the source of your power and discovering and dissolving the barriers between you and manifesting that power so that you experience total freedom as only a man can and with that freedom be the man you always wanted to be.”
Some of us took the Sterling Men’s Weekend and went through the process of registering for the Weekend using that purpose as our guide to three changes. At the same time, in the purpose of the Men’s Weekend, we are introduced to a new concept: “discovering and dissolving barriers.”
What exactly was that and how exactly do we do that?
Well, a barrier is anything that gets in the way: in between me and my end goal or objective. Sometimes, it can be a real physical impediment like a wall, a screen, a glass ceiling, a rope. More often than not, though, it’s not a physical barrier, but rather often a mental or psychological barrier.
For me, I had a barrier that got in the way of experiencing success. That barrier was lack of confidence.
I always doubted myself and my ability to do certain things, like being successful. I knew I could make a good living, but that really didn’t equate to success for me. I could make a lot of money. That didn’t mean success. For me, success meant being happy and excellent at what I did. And what got in the way of that was me having the confidence that I COULD do an excellent job.
Then, I did the Men’s Weekend and joined a men’s team. On these men’s teams, I actually got opportunities to practice doing things, received honest feedback about how I did, and got the chance to practice it again. And again.
I practiced until I leaned to do a good job. And then, a better job. And then, an excellent job. I learned what it was all about. It was all about practice and preparation and had almost nothing to do with a lack of confidence. It was more about a lack of preparation. About laziness.
So, the best experience that I’ve ever had in dissolving barriers was about a barrier that I didn’t really have but only believed that I had, as I DISCOVERED that the real barrier was something completely different.
This is where the greatest value was having men around who cared enough to ask questions, inspect and interview me, dig in and get the truth about me. They saw through my bullshit, made me get to the root of my issue, and didn’t accept my excuses or reasons for not being prepared, and not being successful.
They saw the potential in me as a leader and as a successful man. They coached me, scolded me, consequenced me, encouraged me, and most of all, believed in me when I wanted to quit.
How has my life changed, transformed, improved?
Well, now I have the “confidence” to be the best I can be. I have “no problem” attitude in getting new jobs and employment.
I truly believe I can be successful at anything I choose to do now. Nothing is unattainable if I choose to do it, and if I start feeling doubt, I can bring it to my men for support, encouragement, and the reminder that all I need to do is remember … to use that one element of the Code of Honor.