A Farewell Letter to a Father and the “One MDI”

Marc Prestera
Guest Writer

I was recently asked about the power of a men’s circle. I allowed my mind to ponder.

For me, it all starts with the first men’s team I can remember – being with my father, a man who sadly passed only one week ago.

This is true for me as I consider that the relationship with my father planted the seeds of my relationships with all men. What I experienced around trust, reliability, integrity, strength, safety, support, leadership, fear, betrayal, disappointments, confrontation, listening, peace, love, care … how I frame men, all started with my first powerful male relationship … my father.

Thank you dad …

It is a gift to have that power available 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Just as in the relationship with my father over my lifetime, sometimes I am the student, sometimes the teacher/mentor, and always a collaborator. By collaborator I mean being aware of and owning my part and responsibility for everything that takes place in my life. Again … thank you dad …

What keeps it all together? The love, care and commitment to each other. The knowing that from this moment forward we are forever connected no matter how many miles, or how much we may disagree with each other.

The constant is the relationship, the purpose, and the commitment to bringing my best in all things, no matter what that looks like. And when I come from that place, I support you, my brother, my father, in a way that contributes to you discovering your best, your growth, your ownership of your truth.

The sacred bond of brotherhood has been a cornerstone in every culture. For together we are stronger, as a team we call upon and create synergy and momentum to touch, transform, change and impact lives … and the world. Thank you dad …

Now even with the power of such bonds, and such a circle of men, this is a fragile place. What makes it so? Just like all living things, the health of the circle relies on the health of the men in the circle.  

Not just physical health, but also mental health. What we think, what we believe, what we make up, what we judge, how we judge, our fucking EGO’s, our actions, our listening, and all the make believe shit in our heads that we choose to believe as truth … these are all of our strengths … and our weaknesses.  

These are our weapons that use to build ourselves (and the world) up … and tear ourselves apart. How is our overall “health?” Are we living into our purpose? Our mission? How are we doing around living by our Code of Honor? Problem? No problem?  What makes it so fragile??


Right now within Mentor Disover Inspire, it is more “real” than ever that this amazing gift we have received, and can give away … may be under the biggest test in our short history.  

When I first came to the circle I heard men who had been around for awhile say “This could go away in the blink of an eye.” I never fully understood what they meant, until the last year as I watched our region tear ourselves apart. Cannibalizing ourselves over hurt and judgements. Possibly losing sight of the real “Why” that brought us all together originally.

The “fracture” of my “One MDI” hurts just like the loss of my father.

Here is that HUGE hole, that deep seeded hurt, and sadness. And I love my brothers more than ever. It may just require more effort to be in relationship as the form and way we were together changes. This in itself may be the best “gift” of what has transpired.

Just like standing in a circle, if I’m not “getting” value … that’s on ME!  I’m responsible for bringing and creating value … not the other men. They are not responsible for my sense of value of happiness, or anything else! Being fully self-expressed and maintaining the love, care and effort to “be” in relationship keeps it alive, no matter under what the label.

Be the man who does the right thing, be the one to stand for love and care.

Be “The” Man.  

Thank you dad …

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