Burnsie...
in the
House!
Photo by Ksenia Emelianchik
Jeff and I became friends in 1996, without much effort and with a lot of skills gained from experience, maturity, and budding wisdom.
We first “met” in elementary school back in 1960. He pitched and played the outfield for his school’s softball team, while I played first base for mine. He stuck out like a sore thumb, having had polio at birth and having lost the development and use of his left arm. Still, he’d field the ball, tuck his mitt under his withered arm, and throw with his very good right arm.
Jeff isn’t real clear on what stood out to him about me. Maybe that I was left handed, maybe my being an above-average athlete. Or perhaps it was my demeanor. Whatever it was, when we began to be very close, significant, and loving friends, we traced the birth of this friendship back to elementary school softball.
Piedmont High School viewed from Magnolia Avenue (circa 1922).
Though we’d spent more than six years in the same Piedmont, CA schools, we’d never spoken or engaged in any personal way. In fact, we didn’t speak at all until 1996 when we connected in preparation for our 30th class reunion.
I had just moved back to Piedmont to care for my widowed mother and once there I heard about the production team creating and planning the reunion. I signed on to help out and my first task was to contact the list of classmates to see who would be attending and whether they could help produce the event.
Jeff painting the mural. Photo by MIchael Burns (1996).
[Image focus inhanced using GeminiAI]
Jeff was on my list, and we talked. He was doing menial work in this phase of his life, living alone in a condo, secluded, solitary, and pretty withdrawn. Both of us had ample time to hang out.
He joined the production team to specifically paint a 9′ x 36′ watercolor mural of our school’s iconic architecture for our reunion. Besides our time with production we played tennis and my mom hired him to paint and upgrade three of her upstairs bedrooms.
Jeff has always been very talented and skilled at painting and handiwork, as he has with sports. Our time together grew. Yet, unlike Jeff I was very engaged socially, particularly with men’s circles and community activities. I invited Jeff to join me in these activities and he did.
Jeff’s life began to open up and, in thirty years of building his own network, he has become the man he always could have been: loved and loving. Supported and supportive. Confident. At peace. And comfortable in his own skin.
But how did our friendship grow so well? Relationships either take a lot of time and energy or they are spontaneous, like meeting a soul mate. I think we had both. But relationships take a lot of patience and acceptance, too. They thrive with vulnerability, with transparency and expressions of love. We have that, too.
About the author:
Michael “Burnsie” Burns has been active in men’s circles since 1986. He is 78, retired, has been married for 27 years, and is a member of both the East Bay Circle of Men (EBCOM) and Mentor, Discover, Inspire (MDI). He is committed to supporting men, teams, families, and communities. His focus and attention are centered on his wife, Pat;
on personal fitness; and on mentoring, and awareness.
A Word on the Frontispiece:
Image by Eduardo Balderas.
