Matt Coddington
Guest Writer
Leaving home has to do with a number of things. My father was a certain home. My mother was a certain home, Where I lived was a certain home. The idea of home contains many elements, if you expand the word.
What is home? Home is comfort and familiarity, hopefully. Is it the family you grew up in? Is it the home you’re currently living in as an adult? Is it the relationship and family you’re in with your wife and children? Is it the job or career you’re in? Is it anything else you’ve grown accustomed to or love to do that provides fun?
All of these homes hopefully provided comfort, safety, familiarity, and success. Throughout history, that has not always been the case. All feel like home as long as they last. Eventually they all dissolve and we have to leave home.
Leaving home is inevitable. Leaving home means owning FUCK IT!
Leaving home is a rite of passage. It requires a declaration and possibly a confrontation. Leaving home takes courage. Leaving home requires a decision, or perhaps the decision is made for you. Leaving home requires faith. Finally, leaving home requires the grabbing of balls and yelling FUCK IT. At the ultimate end, leaving home is simply a matter of fact.
Ultimately, home is the spinning planet called Earth that we are all standing on.
What’s important is that you define what “home” is for you, as a man, within yourself… mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Then, you can leave home when necessary, in any and all situations, having used your non-negotiable death as an advisor while you were here and played so fucking full-out hard in life that you’ve left nothing on the table, honorable and clean.
My leaving home was gradual. I went to college 15 miles from my family and “home”. Although it was a chaotic place I often went home on weekends ends. It just felt natural. It would have been good to have a “leaving home” ceremony. I did not feel particularly close to my parents nor any of my 14 siblings, but I felt a certain comfort level at home and was not eager to meet new people.
After 5 years teaching in three separate MN school systems I moved “Out East” for a special program. That’s when I truly “left home.” After the move I remember thinking “How much of this move was to get away from ‘home’?”
Eventually it dawned on me that growing up involves “leaving home” and it is important!