Burnsie...
in the
House!
Photo by Ksenia Emelianchik
I’ve consistently been on various men’s teams for over forty years.
But growing up I didn’t have a grasp of what a team was, or meant. I knew there were teams in sports, but I didn’t understand the context of ‘team.’
It wasn’t until I was growing through my forties that I began to learn the context of a team, by being committed to a team.
Piedmont High School viewed from Magnolia Avenue (circa 1922).
I have learned things that I, as a mentor, would wish I could pass on to younger me, to plant the seeds way earlier about the value team work brings.
I had just moved back to Piedmont to care for my widowed mother and once there I heard about the production team creating and planning the reunion. I signed on to help out and my first task was to contact the list of classmates to see who would be attending and whether they could help produce the event.
Jeff painting the mural. Photo by MIchael Burns (1996).
[Image focus inhanced using GeminiAI]
Jeff was on my list, and we talked. He was doing menial work in this phase of his life, living alone in a condo, secluded, solitary, and pretty withdrawn. Both of us had ample time to hang out.
He joined the production team specifically to paint a 9′ x 36′ watercolor mural of our school’s iconic architecture for our reunion. Besides that we played tennis and my mom hired him to paint and upgrade three of her upstairs bedrooms.
Jeff has always been very talented and skilled at painting and handiwork, as he has been with sports. Our time together grew. Yet, unlike Jeff I was very engaged socially, particularly with men’s circles and community activities. I invited Jeff to join me in these activities and he did.
Jeff’s life began to open up and, in thirty years of building his own network, he has become the man he always could have been: loved and loving. Supported and supportive. Confident. At peace. And comfortable in his own skin.
But how did our friendship grow so well? Relationships either take a lot of time and energy or they are spontaneous, like meeting a soul mate. I think we had both. But relationships take a lot of patience and acceptance, too. They thrive with vulnerability, with transparency and expressions of love. We have that, too.
About the author:
Michael “Burnsie” Burns has been active in men’s circles since 1986. He is 78, retired, has been married for 27 years, and is a member of both the East Bay Circle of Men (EBCOM) and Mentor, Discover, Inspire (MDI). He is committed to supporting men, teams, families, and communities. His focus is centered on his wife, Pat; on personal fitness; on mentoring, and on awareness.
A Word on the Frontispiece:
Image by Eduardo Balderas.
