One of the best examples of a man hiding out is the ancient story of Jonah and the whale.[1]
God tells Jonah to go to a desert town in northern Iraq to preach repentance.
The city of Nineveh was known for being wicked. Jonah thinks he knows better than God. He’s positive a lone preacher couldn’t make a difference in getting the Ninevites to change their ways. So, Jonah gets himself to the port and catches a boat to a coastal town in southern Spain. Jonah wasn’t running from something; he was running to beautiful scenery, fabulous seafood, and new, exciting people
Most men spend some time in their adult lives, hiding. What causes them to hide?
It could be: confronting perceptions we have of ourselves. Feeling pressured by an intimate partner to take the next step. Or perhaps living in the comfort of the present and not wanting to take on extra responsibilities. Sometimes it’s the consequences of our actions we want to avoid, and other times it’s the entire life we are living: trying to live up to our, or others’, expectations of us.
Whatever the reason, ‘hiding out’ is asking for trouble.
Photo by Kamila Maciejewska.
When I didn’t have enough money to pay my annual tax bill, I chose not to open the government’s craft-colored envelopes. I literally hid them in a drawer. I did the same the next year and the next, I didn’t file my tax return at all.
Soon, the letters became more frequent. Then came the voicemail messages and the registered letters followed. After that, the reminders became threats. Interest and penalties were adding up and finally, when it started causing my spouse anxiety, I couldn’t hide anymore.
I was embarrassed that my paperwork was a mess, and that I didn’t have the money to pay my bill. The image I was portraying of being a confident and successful business owner was shattered. I dug myself deeper into a hole. I lashed out anytime someone asked about the issue or wanted to help or suggested that I was incompetent.
Image created using Gemini_Ai
Around the same time, I got deeply sick. I lost about 40 lbs, had “prickly pain” all over my torso, legs, arms, etc. Spent weeks in bed. Coincidence? Well, maybe.
What causes you to hide out? How does your hiding out present itself? Do you shift blame to someone else? Do you risk making a bigger mistake? Do you put those around you at risk?
Jonah thinks he’s made a clean getaway when God sends a violent storm which threatens to break up the ship. In typical “hiding out” fashion, Jonah is asleep in the belly of the ship while the sailors are throwing cargo overboard, praying to their own gods.
The captain wakes Jonah and says, “What have you done?” Jonah comes clean. He even offers to get thrown overboard. What a great option! The storm would cease, the crew would be saved, and Jonah would die. To him, that sounds better than facing God and going to Nineveh.
No luck.
Fresco of Jonah being hurled into the sea. Paint on plaster, Catacombs of Priscilla, Rome., 3rd Century B.C.E. Photo from The Paintings of the Catacombs of Rome (1903), by Joseph Wilpert. Photo retouched by Carlo Tabanelli. Photographer unknown.
The crew thinks Jonah’s confession alone would be enough to save them, but their benevolence isn’t enough and the storm continues. Finally, they throw him overboard. Jonah can’t catch a break. Instead of dying, he’s swallowed by a great fish, and spends three days alone with his thoughts.
What caused you to step out of your hiding place, once you were finally forced to?
Did you get fired? Left behind socially, or in business? Perhaps a relationship ended? Or were you losing sleep? Hair? Weight? Maybe, like me, the debts piling up and the people around you were getting hurt. Were you overindulging in food? Drink? Drugs, or gambling?
As for me, eventually I had to face my shame and go into the government office with all my records.
After being spat up on the beach by the big fish. Jonah obeyed and went to Nineveh and, after only forty days of preaching, the people of Nineveh turned from their evil ways! They were probably glad they did.
The same way I got my record-keeping back on track, made a payment plan and refused to ever be in that situation again. I was glad I did it and wished I had done it years earlier.
What contributed to my wanting to hide? I found it hard to be open and honest about my failures, as I perceived those who were close to me as very successful.
Are you hiding? Here are some small ways you can step forward:
• Don’t be alone: let people in. It sounds easy, but it’s hard
You’d be surprised at how many of us have shared experiences
• Don’t repeat the same mistakes. Look for patterns you are reliving.
Find out where those patterns stem from. Often, it’s shame
• Don’t lock the people who count on you out. They will be hurt, they will be
disappointed, and it may take time to rebuild trust. Keeping them close is far
better than the alternative
What about the other men in your circle… do you see them hiding? Can you be like the sailors and, if necessary to give them the support and accountability they need, throw them overboard?
Do you ask probing questions to encourage them to share, as clearly as possible, who and what they are hiding from? For example, “I want to get married, but not right now, or not to her,” or “I’m afraid people will lose respect for me if I tell them about my secret hobby.”
Once the words come out it’s easier to address.
A humpback whale in Glacier Bay National Park, Alaska. Photo by the U.S. National Park Service.
Being able to sit with feelings, and express them to those on your team, will probably get us to the same results without needing to spend three days in the belly of a whale.
Author’s Note:
The story of Jonah is recognized by a several of the world’s major religions. No matter what you believe it’s a great story suggesting that, though you may run, you cannot hide out for long.
References:
[1] King James Bible, Book of Jonah 1-4
About the Author:
Matthew “Biz” Biswas has been a member of Midnight Sons since 2018. He is a business owner, a father, a semi-skilled athlete, a rock-music aficionado, and a closet prepper. He lives in Toronto and can be reached at matthew@biswas.ca or on facebook and Instagram @matthewbiswas .
A Word on the Frontispiece and Background
The frontispiece is ‘Jonah and the Whale,’ by Pieter Lastman. Oil on oak (1621).
The background image is detail from
‘View of the village of Nunia or Ninive
[Nineveh]’ (1778). It was printed from an engraved plate by Carsten Niebhurs.
