“Purpose Isn’t Out There.
It Shows Up in How You Live
And How You Work.”
For a long time, I thought purpose would come with achievement. A bigger role. More responsibility. More success. I assumed that, at some point, everything would click and I’d finally feel clear. Yeah, about that… it didn’t happen. What changed things for me wasn’t external but internal.
Men talk about ‘purpose’ like it’s something they have to go find. Like it’s out there somewhere, waiting for them to stumble over it. It’s not. Purpose shows up when you finally see yourself clearly and start making decisions in alignment with that, and nowhere is that more visible… than in your work.
“Legacy Discovery was the Turning Point”
That weekend forced me to take an honest look at who I am: how I think, how I lead, what drives me, and what actually matters. It’s no longer about who I thought I should be or what looked good on paper. It about who I actually am, and once I saw that clearly, something shifted.
Recently, I changed my career path. Rather than go through resume / application hell, I decided to start a business myself. For thirty years as a recruiter, half my job had been coaching clients anyway, so it was an easy step from where I’d been to becoming a Career Coach. Besides, I like helping people.
I brought my progress to my men’s team each week, but for some reason things didn’t click. I seemed to be foundering.
Then, a man on my men’s team asked me if I knew my purpose.
True, I had created a purpose twelve years earlier, while on my Legacy Discovery weekend. But that was then: things had changed.
So, I took the weekend again and got clear about my current purpose. The lights went on! Everything I needed to do then became clear. It was as if my roadmap wrote itself!
The roadmap began to take shape and even the name of my company, InspyrWorks, emerged from that clarity. That’s what purpose does.
“Purpose Doesn’t Just Inspire You, It Directs You.”
And I see a lot of people, both in MDI and my with my clients, are in this same place. Men who are:
- Unemployed
- Underemployed, or
- Stuck in roles that don’t fit
They’re working hard, and they’re pushing through, but something feels off. So they start asking:
- “What’s the right job?”
- “What company should I go to?”
- “What role should I be targeting?”
Those aren’t bad questions but they’re incomplete because, if you don’t understand who you are, you’ll keep choosing roles that don’t fit. And then wondering why they don’t work.
Most of the time, it’s not a lack of opportunity, it’s misalignment. A strong man, in the wrong environment, will start to doubt himself because he’s working against his nature. This is where identity comes in. Understanding how you’re wired—how you operate under pressure, how you make decisions, how you lead—gives you a filter. It helps you stop chasing roles that look good… and start choosing ones that actually fit.
“Purpose Doesn’t Just Inspire You, It Directs You.”
Legacy Discovery forced me to name my values:
- Integrity
- Trust
- Loyalty
- Generosity
These aren’t something simple like ‘ideas.’ In fact, they are ‘standards’ and they shape how I work, who I work with, and what I say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to.
When your work violates your values, you feel it; but when the two are aligned you feel that, too. That’s not accidental, because that’s direction.
There’s one more piece to this that I don’t think gets talked about enough. Before MDI, I dealt with frequent bouts of depression. It wasn’t constant, but it was consistent enough that it was part of my life. Once in MDI those bouts became fewer and farther between.
I once read that people who have a clear sense of purpose tend to experience less depression and I’m not claiming this as a cure. But I do know this: when I got clarity about who I am, what I stand for, and where I’m going things shifted. Something shifted. I felt more grounded, more directed, and less stuck. And that matters because, when a man feels stuck – personally or professionally – it affects everything: his work. His leadership. His relationships.
So, when men ask me about career direction, I don’t start with resumes or job boards. I start here: Who are you, really? How are you wired? What do you actually value? Because until those are clear, every career decision is a guess.
“Here’s the Shift”
Identity: tells you how you operate.
Values: tell you what matters.
Purpose: brings direction to your decisions.
Once those three are aligned? You don’t eliminate uncertainty but you’re no longer wandering, lost. So if you’re in transition right now, whether by choice or not, start here:
Where in your past work have you felt strong without forcing it?
What were you protecting, valuing, or standing for in those moments?
Those answers matter more than you think. They’re not just reflections of the past. They indicate where you should be heading.
Many men wait for clarity before they act. That’s how men are. But clarity doesn’t come first, alignment does. And when you start making decisions from alignment, your path has a way of revealing itself. What part of you has been trying to speak… and what would change if you actually listened?
About the Author
Matthew Tager is a boutique recruiting partner and certified CareerCOACH™. He is an executive career strategist who specializes in helping mid-to-late-career professionals find direction, trust themselves, and build stronger, more fulfilling lives and careers. You can reach him by emailing matttager@gmail.com or via linkedin at linkedin.com/in/matttager.
