Yesterday my daughter asked, “Daddy, if hydrogen and oxygen are light enough to float, why is water so heavy?”
I opened my mouth to answer but had to shut it again. As my old SAT scores would prove, there’s a reason I’m a writer and not a rocket physicist.
So I looked it up and, despite many scientific details I could not understand, I understood the essence: though when separated, both hydrogen and oxygen gases are lighter than air, when two positively charged hydrogen atoms encounter a negatively charged oxygen atom, the three bind so tightly together that they become a dense, weighty liquid: water.
Don’t ask my why but then I thought about us men and how aimlessly we tend to float around when widely separated. Your average hermit or man alone doesn’t have much impact. Leaving out guys like the Unabomber, we tend to float around, aimlessly and harmlessly.
But when we bump into one another we become densely packed — incredibly close and tightly bonded. In short, together we become something else, something separate from our individual selves. Something weightier and more impactful. And, in my view anyway, something critical to the conditions for life.
And then I thought — though it is probably taking the analogy too far — that in that condensed and liquid form, we also can move in waves. Each successive generation procedes from a tiny ripple to a tall, imposing, and powerful crest, and ends by breaking, foaming up on the beach and, with a sighing whisper, receding.
But between crest and beach lies a time when older men, even as they are receeding, may call to the men arising, generationally, in their wake, to share some droplets of wisdom gained while their own combers were at their height.
We may not know all — for example, why water is heavier than its component gases — but at least we can, with the force of a receding comber, give all that we can of ourselves to assist the oncoming wave.
The author (in yellow) with his oldest friend, Steve DiBenedetto,[1]
Yorktown Heights, New York. Photo by Colin Kempner (1972).
Photo by Fateme Shahabi
The author as The Devil in this 1973 middle school production
of Damn Yankees. [Note: photo enhanced for detail and
graininess by Gemini_AI.]
Dune Sandworm. Original ‘fan art’ by Astronimation [CC 3.0 wikimedia].
The family in District 1, Hò Chí Minh city, Vietnam.
Mother in law Hà Pham; nanny Sáu; daughters Kailin and Annika.
Photo by Trúc Kempner
Sheffield, England. Photo by Ben Elliott.
So now it’s time (sigh) to start all over again. Will it be a parent met while dropping my daughters off at school? Will it be a neighbor? Perhaps that Sri Lankan fellow I met charging his EV around the corner who said, “stop in any time.” Will I stop in? And if not him, then whom? Can those shriveled, weakened friend-making muscles be coaxed into action and pumped up once more?
Photo by Alicharmant.
We’ll see. But that is my clear task, my personal mission. I’m not alone, nor am I lonely. I have my wife, and my girls, and I see all sorts of people online. But a man should have friends nearby: men he can stroll with, play catch with; men he can meet for ‘a swift half’ down the pub. Men he can play a game of checkers with, men he can confide in. Or, in the best case, men he can do the crossword with or just sit near while they read the paper.
Men need friends. I need friends. Wish me luck. And, oh yes… they speak English here.
References:
[1]Steve Dibenedetto — who used to borrow my father’s markers in order to doodle — is now a world-famous artist. He remains, though far away, a very good friend.
[1] Frank Herbert, Dune (Philadelphia: Chilton Books, 1965)
About the Author
Dan Kempner is Executive Editor of MDI Legacy Magazine. He is based in Sheffield, England, where he lives, works, writes, and cultivates a tiny pear tree.
He is very happily married with two young daughters.
A Word on the Images
The Frontispiece is an AI adaptation of one of Hokusai’s The Great Wave versions. It was created using Gemini and ChatGPT AI.
A Word on the Images
The Frontispiece is an AI adaptation of one of Hokusai’s The Great Wave versions. It was created using Gemini and ChatGPT AI.
