Image gerated using Gemini_Ai
Hiding out isn’t always what it seems.
Sometimes, it can look like the most noble thing in the world.
Years ago, I was on a men’s team — though one not affiliated with MDI — that was amazing in so many ways, and gathered each week for a number of years.
But then we got to talking about our collective purpose. We started doing things in the community: organizing food drives; helping with building projects; cooking meals; and holding fundraising events.
Photo by Rob Schulz
It was all good stuff. Until our outreach started to take over our meetings. Then we committed to one particular fundraiser that stretched all of us. It turned entire meetings into logistics discussions.
The loudest warning bell for me was when we had a three hour meeting with no time for circle. No time to take care of each other. Some men liked this direction. We looked noble as hell. And we didn’t have to do any of the real “men’s work.” Men were hiding out in service to the cause.
Photo by Maxim Shklyaev
Now, serving a cause is great, but never at the expense of taking care of the men. As a consequence, we blew up our once-amazing team. Some continued on as a “service club,” looking like heroes in the community. It was good work, but it wasn’t men’s work.
I am glad, now, to be back on a men’s team where we take care of ourselves first, before we even attempt to care for others.
About the author:
Ron MacDonald is…
A Note on the Images:
Fontispiece rendered using Gemini_Ai.
Background cityscape art by Public Domain Vectors.
