The Leadership Men Choose to Follow
Influence Without Authority in MDI
One of the most interesting things about leadership in an organization like Mentor, Discover, Inspire (MDI) is that none of us truly lead through authority alone.
Yes, MDI has structure, it has a hierarchy, and one of the tenets of our Code of Honor is “earn and honor rank.”
Image by Mert Kahveci
But MDI is also an entirely volunteer organization. No one is paid to lead teams, coordinate divisions, mentor men through difficult times, or carry the responsibility that comes with this work. And no man is forced to stay.
Which means every man in MDI makes a choice: will I follow this vision? Will I commit to this mission? Will I trust this leadership? That reality changes everything. Because in volunteer organizations, authority may create structure but only influence creates enrollment.
Mature Masculine Leadership
Photo by Juliane Liebermann // Unsplash
In MDI, men are constantly deciding:
• Is this leader authentic?
• Does he genuinely care about the men?
• Is he building something worth following?
• Does he embody the standards he asks others to live by?
Many organizations rely heavily on positional authority: titles, hierarchy, status, and control. But mature masculine leadership goes deeper than that. A man can hold rank and still fail to inspire trust; can hold position without creating movement. And therefore can give direction without engendering commitment in those he directs.
To Cause Greatness, by Mentoring Men to Live with Excellence and, as Mature Masculine Leaders, Create Successful Families, Careers, and Communities.
And that’s why leadership in MDI becomes such a refining process for men. Eventually, we all discover that ‘leadership’ isn’t about controlling men. It is about enrolling men into vision. That matters deeply in MDI because our mission matters deeply.
Every man may arrive with slightly different personal goals: becoming a better husband, or rebuilding after failure. Perhaps it’s strengthening leadership, finding purpose, building brotherhood, or improving career direction. It could involve becoming a stronger father.
A shared belief that mature masculine leadership matters. A belief that men become stronger when challenged, mentored, and sharpened by other men. And a belief that excellence is not accidental.
What Unites These Men is Vision
Photo by Anastasiya Badun / Unsplash
The leaders who create the greatest enrollment inside MDI usually aren’t the men demanding the most authority. They’re the ones most clearly connected to the mission. And one of the more humbling realizations many men encounter in MDI is this: success in corporate leadership does not automatically translate into success inside a volunteer men’s organization.
Many men arrive believing they already understand leadership because they have managed teams, held executive titles, led departments, or built successful careers. Then, they encounter something they have no idea how to manage. Because here, shocking as it may seem… no one is paid to follow you!
Here, the men are volunteers. Most are strong minded and many are leaders themselves. They have opinions about how things should be done and every man retains the freedom to disengage if he no longer believes in the vision or the leadership. That changes the entire equation.
In an MDI Paradigm Enrollment Must be Earned.
Many of the tools commonly used in corporate environments simply do not work here:
positional leverage authority based compliance top down control pressure through compensation organizational politics
• Positional leverage
• Authority based compliance
• Organizational politics
• Top-down control, and then the big one,
• Pressure through compensation
In MDI, men respond to something deeper. They respond to leaders who demonstrate:
• Authenticity
• Consistency
• Courage
• Service
• Trust
• Vision
In an MDI paradigm, enrollment simply cannot be forced, it must be earned. Yet, when it is earned, the level of commitment becomes extraordinary.
There’s an oft-used phrase within MDI when describing the impact of a truly trusted leader.
“I would crawl through broken glass for that man,” men say, the charished token of the highest level of trust and respect. Crawling through glass is obviously not about control. Rather, it is about belief and it means men trust that leader enough to willingly commit themselves to the mission; to his vision; and to one another.
That kind of leadership cannot be manufactured through rank alone. It is earned through consistency, humility, courage, integrity, and genuine care for the growth of other men. Ironically, many men eventually discover something unexpected: What works inside MDI often works exceptionally well back in business, leadership, and family life.
While many of the levers that are so useful in the business world are, as we’ve discussed, useless in MDI and other volunteer organizations, the inverse is also true. MDI-style leadership is incredibl useful in business settings. Learning to influence without control; creating buy-in and enrollment, not simply compliance; and leading through service rather than authority, have proven incredibly effective in professional environments.
The Strongest Leaders Rarely Rely on Rank
Photo by Pramod Timari / Unsplash
But why?
Because, the strongest leaders anywhere are rarely the ones who rely on rank. They’re the ones men trust, who create clarity, and who remain rock-steady under pressure. It is they who develop other leaders instead of collecting followers, they who are always bringing men up.
Men who learn to lead volunteers effectively often become dramatically stronger leaders in every other area of life. Because they learn to lead people who truly have a choice. And that kind of leadership changes a man.
As men considering leadership, already serving, or simply striving to become stronger men, perhaps these are the hard questions worth asking ourselves:
As men considering leadership, already serving, or simply striving to become stronger men, perhaps these are the hard questions worth asking ourselves:
• Do I create genuine enrollment behind vision, or do I simply push for compliance?
• Do the men I lead feel seen, valued, and challenged to grow?
• Am I building future leaders or am I unintentionally fostering dependence on me?
• When no one is watching, do I still embody the standards I speak about?
• Am I a man others willingly follow, or merely a man with responsibility?
• Am I more committed to being right, or to serving the mission?
• Do I lead from ego or from genuine care for the growth of other men?
• If my rank disappeared tomorrow, how much influence would remain?
• Would men “crawl through broken glass” for my vision? If not, what needs to change in me first?
• Am I becoming a stronger man through leadership, or merely a busier one?
Volunteer Leadership Exposes the Truth Quickly
Image created by GeminiAi
None of these questions are intended to discourage anyone from leadership: quite the opposite.
They exist because leadership inside MDI is one of the greatest opportunities a man will ever have to sharpen himself, refine his character, and grow into the kind of leader the world desperately needs more of. It gives men the chance to practice a form of leadership that cannot rely on power alone.
Volunteer leadership exposes the truth quickly.
Men follow vision.
Men follow conviction.
They follow consistency, and courage.
Men follow leaders who genuinely care about their growth.
While none of us receive paychecks for this work, that doesn’t mean the rewards are small. In many ways, the lessons learned in MDI hold some of the greatest returns a man can carry into the rest of his life. The patience required to lead volunteers. The humility required to enroll rather than control. The discipline needed to embody the standards we ask other men to live by. The courage required to lead through uncertainty, conflict, and growth.
Photo by Will Haddock / Unsplash
Those lessons don’t stay inside MDI meetings, they follow men home into marriages, fatherhood, careers, friendships, communities… Many eventually realize the true reward for serving inside MDI is in the man they become via the work. And perhaps that’s exactly why the work matters so much. Because the leadership required to build successful families, careers, and communities has never primarily been about authority.
It has always been about influence, stewardship, and purpose.
About the Author:
Matt Tager has been in MDI for 13 years. He currently serves as Chief of Staff to the president.
For over 30 years, he has recruited for, and advised, senior executives of Bay Area Tech companies like Palo Alto Networks, Walmart eCommerce, and CA Technologies, to name a few.
He is currently a certified Career Coach.
If you’re unemployed, underemployed, or not sure what your next
career move should be, give him a call.
matttager@gmail.com or via linkedin at linkedin.com/in/matttager.
