There was an overlooked moment in the TV show Mad Men. The character Ted Chaough declares that there are three women in every man’s life. Sit with that for a minute – how does it hit you? Do you agree? Disagree?
When you examine the major milestones in your life, it’s almost a guarantee that a woman was with you on that journey.
If you had to pick three women from your life, which three would it be? The woman who raised you? The one you first loved? The woman with whom you shared a life? Would it be one of the women above or maybe it would be one from a “non typical” relationship?
We are all born from women, and mostly raised by women. Hence, the processes of leaving childhood, and entering manhood, are deeply influenced by women. Many of our grown-up tastes in food, style and in mates are a direct result of the women who raised us. Those women are often the keepers of the family’s history and traditions. How do you honor the women who raised you?
Whatever you do, don’t say Mother’s Day cards!
We are all born from women, and mostly raised by women. Hence, the processes of
leaving childhood, and entering manhood, are deeply influenced by women.
Do you: visit her often? Tell your children stories about her? Do you stick up for her if friends or family are running her down?
Romantic partners almost certainly have an equally large impact on our lives.
Do you still think fondly of the woman you had your first sexual encounter with decades ago? Are there unresolved feelings of hurt, resentment, and anger towards the woman with whom you tried to build a life only to watch it come crashing down? Do you share every aspect of your life with the woman you choose? Do you still pine for the woman who began a relationship with you, despite it never coming to fruition?
When she shares her goals and dreams, do you offer empathy and warmth? When she asks you for something, do you take that extra step, go that extra mile?
Here’s a fun fact: The Portuguese have a word, Saudade, for profound, nostalgic longing. Longing for home, for someone who is absent, and even for a person you never formally had a relationship with.
How do you honor the women who have given you intimacy, companionship, romance. . .? For those in long-term, committed relationships, do you go over and above when celebrating an anniversary? When she shares her goals and dreams, do you offer empathy and warmth? When she asks you for something, do you take that extra step, go that extra mile?
Photo by Ulleo
How do you honor the women who have given you intimacy, companionship, romance. . .? For those in long-term, committed relationships, do you go over and above when celebrating an anniversary? When she shares her goals and dreams, do you offer empathy and warmth? When she asks you for something, do you take that extra step, go that extra mile?
Men pretend we’re selfmade. The truth is, we’re built on the scaffolding of someone else’s
support: their wisdom, their knowledge, and certainly their sweat and tears.
Who are the other women who helped you become the man you are? Teachers, sisters, co-workers, bosses, friends. . . How did they help you arrive where you are today? Did they give you insights, knowledge, support, confidence, inspiration?
Often, we learn something life changing in our youth from those unofficial teachers: lifeguards, camp counselors, coaches. As we grow older it may be a work colleague who has our back, or a friend who gives you tips on how to relate to women.
How do you honor these women? If you’re looking for ideas, start with an out-of-the-blue text message. Then, perhaps it grows to meeting up for coffee from time to time. Birthday cards, too, are always welcome. Honouring women who helped us get where we are is something that should not be overlooked.
Photo by Liz Red
Men pretend we’re selfmade. The truth is, we’re built on the scaffolding of someone else’s support: their wisdom, their knowledge, and certainly their sweat and tears. Often that scaffolding has a woman’s voice, a woman’s patience, and a woman’s fingerprints all over it.
If you’ve read this far, chances are there’s a woman—or three—who deserve to know that she mattered.
If you’ve read this far, chances are there’s a woman—or three—who deserve to know that she mattered.
About the Author:
Matthew “Biz” Biswas has been a member of Midnight Sons since 2018. He is a business owner, a father, a semi-skilled athlete, a rock-music aficionado, and a closet prepper. He lives in Toronto and can be reached at matthew@biswas.ca or on facebook and Instagram @matthewbiswas .
