If you watched just the last few minutes of nearly every movie, you’d see the typical description of greatness. The protagonist gets the job over the bad guy, solves the mystery, attains riches, rewards, and recognition for his action, and of course marries his dream girl.
The typical advice we get to achieve greatness is to make big moves and grand gestures. This will get us what we want. If you look back at your life or at the life of other men, chances are the big swings don’t always deliver.
Napoleon Crossing the Alps by Jaques-Louis David (1800)
Even in Mentor, Discover, Inspire (MDI), we’re sometimes looking for these grand gestures. A long-time man on my team often pressured others to have ‘breakthroughs.’ I’ve seen men make monster commitments that, a week later, they’ve abandoned—only to make a similar commitment weeks or months later.
Most of us are frustrated with where we are. We’ve been trying for years to have better relationships, be slimmer, stronger, richer; to use our time better, get our children to listen to us, to get recognition for the good job we’re doing, etc.
We make commitments at our meetings, sign up for courses, join gyms, and vow to be accountable; we consume endless amounts of success content, and wait for the good news to come in. After years of such trying—and getting little success—it’s no surprise we’re looking for quick wins.
If you look closely at the moments that actually change a man’s life, or a family’s, or a community’s, they rarely arrive with applause. They happen in the background, in the places no one sees.
A few years ago, the book Atomic Habits took the world by storm. The author had the readers looking for 1% improvement in their lives every day. Sounds great, right? Men are making slow positive steps forward. For most men, it’s working. Men are eating less, reading more, and being more patient with their families, and seeing results.
There is no direct path to greatness: sometimes big steps are needed, and sometimes it’s slow, steady progress. No matter which approach you take, you will face opposition.
They will tell you you’re full of hot air
James Dyson built over 5000 prototypes of vacuums for 15 years. No one believed his new technology would outperform the industry standards. At the age of 42, he started Dyson Ltd, now a multi-million dollar company making hair dryers, vacuums and hand dryers.
You will want to chicken out.
Colonel Harland Sanders, at age 65, was forced to shut down his roadside restaurant. He pitched his chicken recipe and cooking process over 1000 times before his franchise took off.
You’ll be tempted to let your past drag you down.
After years of drinking, gambling and procrastination, Ian Fleming, at age 44, wanted to prove he could write a novel. For two months straight he wrote 2000 words every day between 9 and noon. The result was the novel Casino Royale. Since then, the James Bond franchise of books, movies, and endorsements has generated billions of dollars.
Not all of us will be the global successes of the stories we just read. We can be great by being:
-> A father who listens and changes the emotional climate of a home -> A partner who communicates clearly and changes the safety of a relationship -> A leader who owns his mistakes can change the culture of a team
So how do we choose to embrace greatness in our everyday lives? We do it by:
-> Telling the truth instead of hiding -> Showing up even when we’re tired -> Apologizing, forgiving, and trying again -> Choosing responsibility over excuses or blame -> Managing our emotions
Big gestures are easy to perform and get some sizzle but embracing greatness every day is hard to sustain. Yet it does pay off in ways that may not be recognized. Every man has two lives: the one people see and the one he actually lives. The visible life is where the achievements show up. The invisible life is where the work and the benefits happen. Here is how the invisible stuff happens:
-> Being consistent – builds trust -> Being humble – gives others a voice -> Committing to transformation – inspires others
When a man embraces day-to-day greatness the effects ripple outward. None of these actions makes headlines but they make families stronger. They make workplaces and communities healthier. They make men better.
This is the greatness we cause—one act at a time.
Matthew “Biz” Biswas lives in Toronto and has been a member of Midnight Sons1 since 2018. He is a business owner, father, semiskilled athlete, rock music aficionado, and closet prepper. He can be reached at [email protected] or connect with him on facebook or Instagram @matthewbiswas
