April 2021

Look, nothing is funny anymore, let’s face it. The way things are going – whatever your politics, beliefs, race, orientation, or citizenship, you are somehow and in some way absolutely wrong! Sometimes it’s a downright struggle to find the lighter sides of things, in this world of vitriol and hate. Which brings us to a question we must face.

Is humor really appropriate, during these dark times?

 

 

 

 

THE BEST
YO MOMMA JOKES!

Yo momma’s so fat and old when God said, “Let there be light,” he told your momma to get out of the way.

Yo mamma is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, “Sorry, no professionals.”

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas – and it’s still downloading.

Yo momma so dumb, she bought a solar-powered flashlight.

Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight not your phone number.”

Your momma is so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.

Yo momma so dumb, she watches “The Three Stooges” and takes notes.

Yo mamma is so fat, she walked past the TV and I missed 3 episodes.

Yo momma is so ugly, even Hello Kitty told her “Goodbye.”

Yo momma’s so dumb, she thought Dunkin’ Donuts was a basketball team.

Yo momma’s so fat, she got more rolls than a bakery.

Yo momma so dumb, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Yo momma’s so fat, she tripped over Wal-Mart, and lowered their prices.

Yo momma’s so fat, she can’t even jump to a conclusion.

Yo momma’s so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Yo mamma so stupid she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order.

Yo momma so dumb, she got fired from the M & M factory for throwing away all the W’s.

Yo momma’s so poor, pigeons throw bread at her.

Yo momma’s so fat, she went to church wearing heels and came home wearing flip-flops.

Yo momma’s so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.

Yo momma so dumb, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!

Yo momma’s so fat, her belt size is “Equator.”

Yo mama so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.

Yo momma so ugly, she could scare the chrome off a bumper!

Yo mama so old, when she was in school, there weren’t no history class.

Yo mama’s so fat, it took me two buses and a train just to get to her good side.

Yo momma so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.

Yo mama’s so fat, her blood type is “Ragu.”

Yo mama’s so stupid, when they said, “Order in the court,” she asked for fries and a shake.

Yo mama’s so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

Yo momma so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world.

Yo momma so fat, she was born on the 4th, 5th and 6th of March.

Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo momma so fat, when she talks to herself, she gotta make a long distance call.

Yo momma so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Yo momma so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th.

Yo momma so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

Yo mama so dumb, she plays pool in her bathing suit.

Yo momma so fat, her pictures had to be arial views!

Yo momma so fat, her belly-button gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Yo momma so old, her birthday’s expired.

Yo momma so fat, she wakes up in sections.

Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
 
Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
 
Yo momma so fat, when she hauls ass, she gotta make two trips.

Yo momma so old she still owes Moses a quarter!

Yo momma so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Yo mama so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
 
Yo momma’s so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo momma so fat, when she goes to the all-you-can-eat buffet, they  install speed bumps.
 
Yo momma so old, when she was young rainbows were black and white.
 
Yo momma so fat, she eats Wheat Thicks.
  
Yo mama so dumb, when she saw the “Disneyland left” sign, she went home. 
 
Yo momma so fat, she gets group insurance.
 
Yo momma so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
  
Yo momma’s arm-pits stink so bad, she made Right Guard turn left.
 
Yo momma’s so fat, when she went to the beach, all the whales started singing “We Are Family.”
 
Yo momma’s so ugly, she made an onion cry.
 
Yo momma’s so fat, she’s got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.
 
Yo mama so fat, everytime she walks she does the Harlem Shake.
 
Yo momma’s so ugly, the roaches wrote her an eviction notice.
 
Yo momma so fat, they used Google Earth for her school photo.
 
Yo mama so ugly, she gotta Trick or Treat over Zoom.
 
Yo momma so fat, she gotta wear two watches – one for each time zone she’s in.
 
Yo momma’s so fat, she sat on an iPad and turned it into a Flat Screen TV.

 

Fuck Yeah, it is!