Code Of Honor

The Code of Honor contains 15 tenets that we strive to live by. It is intended to reflect some basic core values that all the men can rally behind, support and use as a benchmark for the ways of being we can expect from one another.


The wood representing this tenet is Willow – Willow is known for its flexibility. It is used in the structure of the sweat lodge which itself symbolizes the womb which embraces and nurtures. Willow is a rare wood in that if it is severed from the tree it will regenerate itself if soaked in water and properly nurtured.

The symbol that reflects this tenet is that of men’s arms embracing in the secure grasp of one another’s wrist. This grip is often referred to as the life saving grasp.



Embrace – to clasp or hold in one’s arms as a sign of affection; to encircle or surround; to include within one’s bounds; to accept eagerly; to take in with the eyes or mind; to submit to with dignity and fortitude.

Embrace ALL Men – Sounds like a big job. Yet we each have done it. In our initiation weekends, we had a chance to stand within a circle of men, many of whom we did not know their name or life story, yet we were prepared to take them in for who they were at that moment. We are here now because during our initiation we discovered the power of embracing all men. We discovered our commonality. The shared wounds, common dreams and struggles. No matter how different we may look on the outside, when you strip us down we are really very similar.

To engage in an embrace one must let down his guard. A man is never more vulnerable than the moment before an embrace is completed. In that instant, there is complete trust between two men that each will follow through in the unspoken promise to complete the embrace. It is why the actual embrace feels so good. Hold it, feel the connection. Its power can be frightening and uncomfortable. Often times we don’t like to acknowledge just how much we actually share. Often we are surprised to realize how little we need to say to communicate what we feel.

To live this tenet open your arms to the warts and strengths of the men in your circle and consider, when a man reveals something about himself, that “you are that man”.

 Howard Spierer