Ed Aponte Columnist
Before a meeting I was talking to one of my men. I told him that I had just gone out on a date the night before and how well it had gone. He then asked me to tell him the best part of the night.
Here’s what I said: “So i was born in Puerto Rico and raised until I turned 11. Because I am Puertorican most people expect me to be a great dancer. However, I left the island at 11 at the age where most kids start going to dances and formals. The age when young Boricua males get seasoned at all the Latin dances. I instead was living in Northern Virginia as far from Latin music as I could get. So the lady I’m dating is professionally trained and I was intimidated. When we had the opportunity to dance I stalled for no reason and awkwardly waited way to long to get on the dance floor. Eventually, I threw caution to the wind and grabbed her by the hand and headed to the dance floor. I loved dancing with her. We had a great time and she said the highlight of the night was dancing with me.”
The same man looked at me and reflected the following. He said that he had asked me what was the best part of the night. Instead of telling him the truth about how great it was to be with her on the dance floor while she smiled from ear to ear I went into a story. That’s all it was too. It was a story I had made up to deflect any ownership in my reality. He told me that he believed me to be a highly capable man that could do anything I put my mind to. Instead I was choosing a story that was a lie. For someone who sees himself as a competent fellow I sure was stomped with this concept.
Think about it like I did. Where else does this show up in my life? Where else do I choose to limit my point of view, perspective or commitment because of a story instead of the truth? It’s so easy to do so and after awhile the stories we tell ourselves become the lenses which we look at the world through. But just like any pair of glasses I can choose to just not wear them. I can choose to leave them on my night stand and view life through my reality. My truth can also be the lens which I view my world.
I know this doesn’t sound like much but after I pondered on it for awhile, this simple concept has shaped my life and the decisions I have made from then on. Now three months later I have benefited from the wisdom of one of my men in casual conversation. When I choose to view my truth and acknowledge what’s really just story I move closer to being in my power. The key is to acknowledge that all of it is a choice made by me and not forced upon me.
So I challenge you to dig for your truth, setting aside the story. May you get as much from it as I have.